I Wish I'd Live

After my morning prayer
on my bed
with a pillow under my head
I lie straight
Death is what I wait
As I have AIDS
life is dull in this room
I ponder over, how I got AIDS and from whom?

Though I have a beautiful wife
but I can't account for other women in my life
I wonder who did this to me?
Who could it be?

For there were casual relationships
with women I really didn't know
As these relationships were never meant to grow
I went with someone I didn't belong
And that's where I went wrong
I was unfaithful to my wife
I played the fool with not only mine
but also her life
I was untrue

Now there is nothing I can do
My mind is in a state of stir
as I have infected her
I am dying I know
If she dies too, how will my kids grow?
Who'll look after them?
They'd be like a broken stem
from a tree which dried up due to lack of care
And that wouldn't be fair.

They'll be neglected
and feel rejected
The very thought is hard to bear
but that's the truth
I am ill
I cast it on me on my free will
And my poor wife she's not to blame
I put her to shame.
I know I am going to lose
everything that's my own
but till I live
I know there's lot I can give
ADVICE
whatever you do think twice
I know the disarray
that I am in today
I know it was the CLUB
the party and the wine
that left me to pine.

Now I am cast away to die
why did I do this? Why?
In the end
when I linger on
All can say is
don't be me
but do think of me
even when I am gone.

Source:
Mrs. Karuna Roy
co-ordinator, HIV/AIDS Prog.
Church of North India
The synodical board of Health

[Contributed By: Maithili Massey, Some branch, 1^st year]